His Punches
by Heitth27
Summary: The strongest being's soul reincarnates every 1000 years. This is the forgotten rumor amongst the monsters and villains. But what if that soul reincarnates as a healthy son of two infamous villains? What if that boy grew up as a hero for fun and met the infamous villain cyborg? WARNINGS: BROMANCE, GENOSAI, LANGUAGE
1. Chapter 00

**Full Introduction**

The Genocidal Cyborg. Or so how the news spreads Genos' name. He is a renowned - infamous even - cyborg that has the motto, "Kill o Be Killed."

With his ultimate motive to get stronger and beat the shit out of his cyborg nemesis, he fights anyone (those who are heroes or not), anywhere at anytime. But that is not the problem.

There had been a forgotten rumor among the monsters. That a strong spirit reincarnates himself EXACTLY every 1000 years. And that spirit will not be ignorant when it comes to the violence of the bad against the good.

But...

What if that spirit reincarnates as a healthy child of the two infamous villains? And what if those villains are only 'villains for fun'?

And most importantly...

What if that child grew up as a 'hero for fun'?

" **You are the sugar to my black coffee world." - Heitth**

 **Yo! Heitth is here.**

 **Um, the biggest ship here will most likely be Genos x Saitama. So, if you are uncomfortable with my preferences, you can walk out of here...or try it out. Besides, I am a nonromantic guy so I doubt that I will be able to successfully write a romantic one.**

 **And to those with similar ideas, I'm truly sorry if we had the same idea. It. Is. A. Mere. COINCIDENCE. I haven't stolen any idea because apparently I never read any more than 4 One Punch Man fanfictions.**

 **#Disclaimer: One Punch Man belongs to their rightful owner, ONE and Y. Murata. I am only borrowing their characters and a few ideas.#**


	2. Chapter 01

**Guys, I know many will disagree with me but...I prefer Saitama as bottom. XD** **But no worries. I ain't makin' lemons. You can sit back, read, and say "This Heitth-guy doesn't know any romance," for all you want. TBH, I don't see Genos and Saitama as lovers but rather as pure, platonic partners. They are like siblings...** **And also there is bad news. My boy heart melted into a girl's when I met Garou. It's just, he is so...** **Sorry, here I am blabbering. Go on with my fanfiction. :)**

It is yet another (un)usual day in the ghost town of City Z.

Saitama, in his superhero outfit - a yellow jumpsuit, red gloves, red boots and a fancy white cape - roamed around the area with a bored expression as always. Everything is a little quiet.

Oh how Saitama wishes that it is just like that.

Currently, he is trying to eliminate the most damned existing creature in the whole world. A mosquito.

His day was supposed to start like any other boring day. He wakes up thinking about how boring his life came to, he waters his cactus using the green elephant sprinkler while listening to the news. And it did start like that. Although here comes his worst nightmare, the mosquito.

His television was blabbering about a big swarm of mosquitoes approaching City Z earlier. This must be it.

With all little force, he tried to kill the mosquito by a single attack. But the little shit - or so how his brain registers the little thing - was replaced with a new mosquito. Next thing he knew, he is already flying around and clapping his hands to catch them. "Damn mosquitoes," he grumbled with the most hideous face ever. His jaws clenching and numerous veins popping out of his face.

His mind was whirring with ideas on how to kill the little vermins. And what is the best way to eliminate pests?

The only thing available in his shelves is an unused - most probably expired - bug spray. Something that he can't trust. Then a new mosquito landed on his arm and bit him. Little did he knew that a huge swarm of mosquitoes just passed by.

And thus starts his unwavering determination to kill the little shit.

Somewhere in City Z roams Genos the Genocidal Cyborg. His usual black scleras and yellow irises scanning the area for something interesting. Anything is fine.

And soon enough, he detected an enemy. _In the air?_

Looking up, he saw a creature that looks like a hybrid of a woman and a mosquito surrounded by a huge swarm of flying and fat mosquitoes. A horrifying sight for those who hates the blood-sucking idiots...erhm insects.

"Target, acquired," he said. The woman - which he'd like to call Mosquito Girl - noticed his presence. "There's our next meal," she said and leered at the cyborg. "Go suck him dry," she said. The mosquitoes instantly attacked Genos without warning. They swarmed all around him like he had a neon board on his forehead flashing 'Suck My Blood Bitches' and arrows flashing while pointing at him. The mosquitoes instantly TRIED to land a single bite on him, but every attempt was futile.

"Incinerate," he mumbled. The mosquitoes all crumbled down, toasted and useless. "So that's what you do. You send some kind of signal to them and they follow your orders. But what may be the reason behind this?" Genos mumbled, leaving Mosquito Girl in the air. "Whatever, I'll eliminate you," he added and did the same move again.

"Eliminate me?" she said in disbelief with a chuckle at the end. "THEN GO ON AND TRY!"

"Incinerate," he mumbled.

Multiple flames shot out from his right arm, which is aimed to the flying woman. However, she dodged them with great ease. She removed his right arm with a swift attack. "Maybe I'll take your legs next?" she maliciously said while licking her lips. But, she felt lighter than before. And that is when she realized, her legs are missing. "What...what happened to my legs?"

Her eyes snapped to Genos. There in his hands are her two detached legs. He threw them to the side with a mental scowl.

With a few minutes of contemplating, Mosquito Girl decided that her enemy must be eliminated at all costs. Summoning all mosquitoes in a wider range, she soon urged them to empty all the blood they collected into her. The swarm was obviously bigger than earlier.

Right in that moment, enters a bald man in pajamas holding a bug-spray while screaming bloody hell murder. Yes, it is Saitama. "Come back here you little shit! I am not done with you yet!" he screamed while spraying the horrible bug spray all over the place, missing the supposed target. The can of spray is full of dents already, formed because of his strong grip.

Saitama started spitting while complaining about how bug sprays are nasty. Genos stared at the him, most likely scanning if the guy could get any dumber than he looks. Saitama spared Genos a dumb stare and asked, "Wow. A cyborg. Who are you?" before he finally saw the swarm of mosquitoes. "Whoa, are those...mosquitoes!?" Saitama exclaimed then gasped. Genos is dumbfound.

 _This guy...doesn't know...who...I am..._ Genos thought. For some reason, he felt like he wants to protect the guy, but a side of him says that he does not need to. Anyway, he already did something he did not expect he will do. "You must get away. This place is dangerous. It is swarming with mosquitoes," Genos informed.

He is almost ready to facepalm himself, but got interrupted by a chuckle. They looked up to see a red woman with half of her whole body already an insect. "Kekeke," she mocked.

The huge swarm of mosquitoes approached the duo on the ground.

Saitama, being the insect-hater he is, he stood frozen on the ground with a half-empty weapon on his hand - his expired bug spray - and contemplated whether to use it to kill the massize amounts of shits or not. He can't just punch, knowing that someone else is next to him. He (Genos) might get caught up in the attack.

Not a minute later, the cyborg in front of him ignited, burning the insects into a crisp while Mosquito Girl fled from the explosion. Genos started mumbling about Mosquito Girl's brain is only an insects'. "Hm, I wonder if I dragged anyone else into the explosion?" he mumbled. "I scanned the area earlier for any other living beings, but found none..."

"Wait, there is that guy!" he realized and looked towards the direction of the baldy, only to see him naked. "Wow," Saitama drawled, not noticing his ashen pajamas. "Man, you're better than my expired bug spray. Thanks for saving the trouble," Saitama added.

Genos was once again shocked. None had been able to survive his flames once they have a direct hit. And the guy still had that dumb face - Saitama wants to call it his poker face - on him. "You can say, you bugged them out of here," Saitama said, which was supposed to be a pun.

 _You've got to be kidding me. This man is still alive with no burns, much less any damage at all. And, that shiny skin colored armor on his head reflected too much sunrays, it almost looks like a mirror. Is he just really bald? Just how old is he to be bald? Maybe a hidden weapon is inside. Should I scan? And he looks shorter than me..._

A loud and crackling laughter (once again) interrupted Genos' train of thoughts.

"The insects have served their purpose," Mosquito Girl said. "I don't need them anymore."

With a swift move, she attacked Genos nonstop. Slash after slash, she slaughtered him like he is the insect. Every attack hits him, ripping off his limbs, and her movements are certainly faster and more powerful than the attacks earlier. "Hahaha! I'll get your handsome head as a souvenir!" she maniacally said and ready for her last attack.

 _Such a shame to be slaughtered by an impudent insect woman. I cannot go on with such an embarrassment on my shoulders. Ending my life here is a choice,_ he contemplated. Just when he started the countdown for self destruct, a powerful and crunchy sound of a slap resounded in the neighborhood, made by the naked baldy.

The slap sent Mosquito Girl into the sky like a meteor. "Bugs. They suck," Saitama said with his 'poker face' on. That is when he noticed a breezy feeling and realized, he is stark naked. "Oh shit! The police'll call me a perv if they see me like this, better get something to wear!" he panicked and left in a hurry.

Genos stayed there, ripped from limb to limb, while staring at the direction Saitama fled towards. "Wh-who was that guy?"

 **Yo Sugarcube! This is the first chapter.** **Oh how I want to make Genos OOC. But, come on. Who wants to hear a cursing Genos (Except in** Chapter 89: Hot Pot **when he called Fubuki a bitch. XD) ? Wait, I already did...he is an infamous villain...** **And yeah, damn mosquitoes. I always misspell them as: mosquities, moswuito, mosquitos, mousquitoes, mosqyitoes, etcetera. It SUCKS.** **Here comes a reminder from Saitama!**

 **~All you gotta do is shave your hair!**

 **And wax that bitch until it shines!**

 **Who gives a crap if all the children stare,**

 **JUST LISTEN UP AND YOU'LL BE FINE!~**


	3. Chapter 02

**I don't know how to write the whole 'Genos-is-stalking-Saitama' scene. You know, the first episode of One Punch Man Specials: The Shadow Who Snuck Up Too Close. So, I'll try a different approach.** **Btw, did you see JackSepticEye wearing a shirt (well, I think it was a shirt...I can't remember anymore) printed with the word Oppai?**

The Cactus Saitama Waters

Saitama had been having nightmares about the cyborg he met a few hours earlier. Something about the cyborg pointing a smelly plunger in front of him and how the cyborg accidentally setting the omelet on fire because of his incinerator. "STOP THAT!" Saitama screamed as he sat up straight, sweat sliding across his face. He soon recognized the whole place, his apartment.

 _How did I get here?_

He tried remembering the events earlier.

 _I arrived my apartment unit about 9:00 in the morning. Then I went to grab something to wear. Then I went out to the convinience store to buy some apples. Then I bought a new set of pajamas. I went home then placed the apples in the fridge around 13:00. Then I went to sleep. Ah!_

Yes. Nothing special happened. He just completely went to sleep before he knew it.

The dark on his veranda welcomed him. Sighing, Saitama sat up hesitantly and changed into a more comfortable attire. His favorite Oppai hoodie and sweatpants, then started doing the laundry. Thoughts come and go in his head. Like when is the next sale, tomorrow is burnable trash day, what will he have for dinner and all that inane stuff.

The socks are neatly aligned in the hanger outside.

Despite his messy apartment unit, dirty and unorganized clothes are one of the things that tick him off the most. So here he is, trying not to let his laziness consume him instead doing the laundry, which is actually easy when he has an automatic washing machine and he doesn't have anything much to wear. Every now and then, he'd yawn and mumble about his rent being due by next month.

After minutes of watching the spinning of clothes in the machine, he hung them to dry outside. Cold breeze of the midnight made contact with his hands and face, as those are the only exposed parts of his body. Unconsciously, his eyes traveled to the cactus behind him. This cactus he have is something he got as a present for his 20th birthday. 2 years before he started training like a madman. Currently five years.

 _»»Flashback»»_

 _Everything is silent and hot. Like, totally hot. Saitama can tell just as much through his white and loose tank top and shorts. He can feel his sweat instantly evaporating, becoming part of the air around him. He left his water bottle in the ice cream parlor he visited a few hours ago._

 _"Ugh, I can hear the camels from Sahara transferring here already," he said as heard distant cries of what sounds like whines of camels approaching his location._

Wait, I am not hearing sounds... _he thought and whipped his head to the source of the sounds. There, standing in all its glory, was a baby camel._ What is that camel doing there!?

 _T_ _he camel is standing on its hind legs. Its double-humps proudly forming the letter B. It approached everyone and kept mumbling something. Finally, it reached Saitama and a grin is etched on its face, showing off its flat teeth._

 _"Hello there young man. Do you have water?" it asked. Saitama only raised a brow at the question and answered a truthful 'No'._

 _Oh yeah? Then aren't you lucky ?" the camel said and landed on all fours. "Here, if you choose the right hump, I won't attack you and give you a good luck present, and if you don't, I will eliminate you," the camel said and chucked its head to the two humps on his back._

 _Not in the mood, Saitama just replied a silent "No thanks," before walking away._ The guy must be giving away a voodoo doll or something, _he convinced himself. Besides, he felt so hot that he will need to get home soon and soak himself under the cool comfort of water. He has no time to gamble. "Hey! G-get back here!" the camel called out. "I am the symbol of sand dunes in desserts! I am The Hump!" it proudly called._

 _Saitama's eyebrow twitched as he looked around to the baby camel. "Listen here you big lump of fats," Saitama taunted and grabbed the little guy. "I don't know what the heck are you talking about and I also don't give a flying shit. So if you got a problem with me, tell me face to face and don't give me a voodoo doll. I'll bring you with me so you better behave," he spat and dragged the little thing to his apartment._

 _Setting it down his futon and laying a bowl - designed with balloons and confetti - of clean water next to it, he hurriedly removed his tank top and hopped inside the shower then threw his shorts and boxers into the hamper, then turned the cold on, enjoying the constant spray of cold water coming in contact with his skin. "Ah, this is heaven…ly…" he sighed and dove into the coldness._

 _After an hour of soaking and wrinkling his own skin, he jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. On his futon where The Hump and his bowl was earlier, lays a pot of cactus - with a bright yellow ribbon on it - and a letter._

 _"Hello dweller of the modern civilization._

 _I am Lorand, caretaker of The Hump. This baby camel is the last of its specie so I am entrusted to take good care of it. It is a camel that brings good fortune to whoever takes care of it. And because of your kind generosity, it is alive and unharmed. I express my gratitude by giving you one of the best growing cactus in my land._

 _P.S., I'll be taking the bowl. The Hump is fond of it._

 _– Lorand"_

 _"Oh…" he said and looked at the healthy cactus in front if him. Then he thought outloud, "This thing looks bald."_ _After a few minutes, he felt like he forgot something very crucial. "Why am I craving to eat cake tonight?"_

 _««End of Flashback««_

"To think I got a bald cactus for my birthday. Just my luck…" he grumbled and sighed.


	4. Chapter 03

**Oh my gosh.**

Bomberguy789: I'm glad you saw this fanfiction both as strange and interesting. :P I hope I didn't make Saitama-san too OOC for your liking. Thanks for reading and leaving a review. :D

Adrian Taylor Cousins: Aw, thanks hun. I appreciate the time you lent just to read this amateur's fanfiction, and also leave a review. Here. I hope you enjoy the update. :)

Saitama's Persistent Stalker

The day passed by in a flash. Then the day after that also flashed by in an instant.

There in his futon, Saitama had a dreaded face as he woke up in a hysteric screaming and cursing spree after his umpteenth nightmare about the cyborg. Today, it is about the cyborg crushing his favorite vegetable - a cabbage - using a hammer while wearing a ridiculously pink apron. "Man he is still my worst nightmare..." he grumbled and groggily dragged his body out of the futon.

The pajamas he had clung on his fit physique. When he made his way to the sink to brush his teeth, he can see a reflected light on the wall. And when he moved his head, he noticed that the light also follows. After a few more movements, he confirmed that the light is reflected from his head. "Huh, so I can be shoot sunlight from my head," he joked with a snicker, but annoyance is evident on his tone.

He just brushed his teeth and then peeked on his veranda. "Oh, It's raining," he remarked. _That's funny. There isn't any announcement about raining in the weather forcast._ Shrugging off the thought, his hands unconsciously reached for a pail. It became his habit since he was a child. Whenever there is rain, there are annoying water droplets around him, ruining all his homeworks and projects. But he can't say he hates rain. On the contrary, he loves it from the bottom of his heart, because if there is rain, then he can take a glorious bath. Not that he needs one, because he doesn't smell like rotten fish when drenched in sweat. But he does enjoy water.

So when he noticed that he is already on his veranda holding out his pail while catching some raindrops, he sighed.

"Damn habits," he grumbled. In his mind, he thinks that maybe the cats doesn't like him for one certain thing. He likes water while cats...are being cats.

But aside from the rain, his thoughts and his habit, he did notice a pair of eyes boring holes in his face from a fair good distance. He soon became cautious. With small, unnoticeable glances, Saitama looks around with his signature bowl-shaped eyes and dot irises. "Ugh, I must be missing plenty of sleep because of those nightmares," he blurted outloud and scratched his cheek.

Meanwhile, around 100 meter radius away from Saitama, indeed a pair of eyes are examining him. Above the tallest - and most not-damaged - building is a retractable tent where you can find Genos - the cyborg that constantly visits Saitama's supposedly peaceful slumber. "Reaches a pail out whenever raining," Genos said while writing down his findings.

Behind him are five notebooks with colorful memopads and markers inside. Also a few pictures of Saitama caught. It had only been an hour and a half since he found out that the man he had been searching for actually lives in City Z's ghost town.

Genos hummed, not sure what in the world is happening. _Why is he catching rain? Does he convert it into something that can amplify his powers? Wait, he is pouring it into something. A...cactus? Does the cactus contribute in giving him his needed power?_

He wrote down his questions in green ink as he continued to watch him. "I still don't know his name," he grumbled. The pouring rain made it harder for him to watch, so he decided to call it a day.

Gathering his notebooks and tucking them safely in a waterproof box, he then left with it. The tent is left as it is.

Saitama had the urge to go out. So he changed into a more suitable outfit for a 10:something stormy monday morning, a normal yellow hoodie and a random pair of sweatpants after he dropped his pajamas into the hamper. His Oppai hoodie is in the hamper as well but he can't do laundry during these kind of weathers. The smell of the clothes become terrible.

He grabbed his collapsible umbrella and his wallet, just in case. He locked his veranda and then hid his laptop. It will be a waste if someone finds and steals it when he used the last of his cash last year to purchase one. He endured 3 whole months of doing gigs and sleepless nights just to restore his lost money. For some reason, his mind kept on nagging him to also grab some salt.

All set, he stepped out of his apartment unit and locked the door, securing the key in its giraffe keychain before he shoved it into his pocket. "Where to I wonder," he asked himself. Shrugging all the thoughts off, he just trotted down the hallway and to the stairs. The steps then led him to the first floor. Duh...

The sound of raindrops was pleasant to his ears. Especially when he opened his umbrella. The decent sound of raindrops making contact with his umbrella sounds like thousands of small drums being beated.

Little things like raindrops always lightens up his mood. And a peaceful morning with no monsters interfering this tranquility is also the best thing.

But, a new pair of eyes are now following him.

 **\--** **So, while I was making this part, a _special someone_ thought that my head and the floor actually are a good couple so they purposely made my head kiss the floor.** **Apparently, my shoulders and jaw are NOT in the best condition - dare I say DAMAGED - so I have to endure this for a while. My shoulder is bruised. :3** **Thankfully though, it isn't really that much of a hindrance. My movements are slower than normal but it will be all okay. But no, I didn't visit a doctor or any neurologist but I am sure I'll be fine. And, because I release stress by writing stories, I already know how this fanfiction will end!** **THANK YOU SPECIAL SOMEONE FOR SLAMMING MY HEAD TO THE FLOOR! May God Bless Them sooooooooooooo much that they won't be jealous of the relation between me and the floor anymore!**


	5. Chapter 04

**I can finally write in my laptop!**

 **Warnings for** **this chapter...err...** **the whole story! I inserted my male!OC!**

* * *

The Ghostly Encounter

* * *

As he walked around the abandoned neighborhood, the rain is pouring like waterfalls. The grey sky is only making the neighborhood look more like a town for a horror movie. More thoughts poured into Saitama's head. "I wonder what happens if I encounter a ghost?" he muttered out loud.

He knows that physical attacks will just phase through the spirits. And also his screaming will not help either. Sure prayer is the final resort, but he doesn't have a single idea about Our Father. But if he will choose between the three, he'd rather scream. Then he remembered the salt that he brought with him. He hummed in delight. But, he never really saw what a ghost looks like.

He heard a 'psst' from somewhere. Or he _thought_ he heard something like that. "Just the rain," he convinced himself and kept on walking.

He arrived at a park. The slide is already flipped the other way around. Two swings are tied like knots and the other one had it's left chains detached from the pole that holds it up. The merry-go-round is also not in its usable condition when it is snapped in half. The only thing left in a working condition is one of the four seesaws. The other has pipes stabbed through them while the other has its other half missing. The fourth is smashed.

He first went to the rusty slide. "What happened to this?" he muttered and flicked his finger to the thing. A loud sound of 'CLANG!' echoed in the park, mixing with the drumming of the raindrops. "Whoops," he said and looked at the new hole made. He just shrugged and went to the swings next.

Not finding it interesting, he just skipped it and only spared a glance towards the merry-go-round. Then he reached the working seesaw. The only thing he really cared about.

Under the wooden surface are two words. "...loves Saitama" and the first letters are in an unreadable state because of numerous scratches. But he does know what is written there. Though he is too embarrassed to tell anyone if they ask what it is.

But his tongue slipped.

"Everyone," he said. "Everyone...loves Saitama..." he muttered. It was just his foolish, immature and childish self that wrote those words.

See, when he was a child, nobody tried to approach him because of how lifeless and dull his eyes are, no matter how many times he tried to make them look less duller . They say bad things about him, like how a monster inhabits his body.

So he let his delusional childish and immature side dominate his whole being and wrote - err, carve - the three words on the seesaw he usually sits on alone. He doesn't want to hurt anyone that time, knowing it will just bother himself and everyone around him. It won't even boost his reputation if he hurts anyone.

"Ugh, that was so embarrassing," he drawled as he clutched on his umbrella and he crouched down. "Man," he drawled again.

"Really?" a ghastly voice of a male echoed around the park. When Saitama looked up, he saw a ghostly pale man looking down at him. "DID YOU HEAR ME?!" Saitama exclaimed in horror and shame as he covered his red face and the umbrella's handle is squeezed between his forearm and chest. Though his bald head shines like a bright red light bulb. "This is more embarrassing!" he exclaimed.

"Wait, did _you_ hear _me_?" the figure asked. "Well, duh. I have ears," Saitama boredly replied but soon went flushed. "Man you heard nothing okay?!" Saitama hurriedly said and stood up, ready to leave the place. "Wait, I'm Toshi. Is your name Saitama?" the stranger asked. "I won't tell you!" Saitama hissed and backed away with a hideous face - which was supposed to be intimidating in Saitama's perspective.

"Believe me, no one will hear me even if I scream in front of them that a guy wrote Everyone Loves Saitama," Toshi said.

With a sigh, Saitama looked up with his bowl-shaped eyes. "I'm sorry buddy. I was just shocked and all that I blurted things out," Saitama apologized. "And yeah. I'm Saitama," he mumbled.

That is when Saitama noticed one thing. The Toshi in front of him is an apparition. How did he notice?

It is raining waterfalls and Saitama is clutching the umbrella. He can already feel his shoulders soaking wet that if you squeeze the water out, there will be enough to fill a fishbowl. On the other hand, Toshi in front of him is standing tall under the rain so freaking dry without an umbrella. He is not shocked at all. In fact, he is pleased to see a ghost.

"Say, are you a...ghost?" 

* * *

**Short chapter! Myep. :P**


	6. Chapter 05

**Minna...I'll not update for a while. So for that, I'm sorry.**

 **Not that I'll ignore this fanfiction. I'll just be busy for school...Don't worry. Expect more updates as soon as I finish these schoolworks in hand. :)**

* * *

Saitama and Toshi!

* * *

"Uh, I guess you could say that?" Toshi replied and glided around. Saitama is just lightly amused and said, "Cool." His dumb face plastered and his poor posture looks like a humped gorilla.

Toshi only chuckled lightly. He never expected a reaction like that.

Saitama just made a small and stupid smile before he fixed his posture. "I must be going. You want to follow me or somethin'?" Saitama joked with a grin. Toshi nodded enthusiastically. "Can I?!"

"Uh, yeah, of course...not," Saitama said as a flash of regret crossed over his face. Toshi stuck out his tongue childishly and went beside him.

The two just went around the neighborhood, pointing at stuff and making snide remarks about the bland choices of colors. Sometimes Toshi would make rackets like scare random stray cats hiding from the rain while Saitama scolds him, saying something about 'Cats being holy' when suddenly a splash echoed.

The drumming of the raindrops faded with the background as the water rippled. "The fishes could mistake this as the sea," Saitama grumbled, referring to the water that is reaching his waist. He fell into the crater filled with water on the ground. It was freshly formed just a month ago when Saitama punched the ground in frustration. He missed a very valuable sale that time.

"Saitama, you're just exaggerating," Toshi pointed out.

Saitama stayed there while enjoying the cold - and surprisingly clear - water. "I feel like a duck," he remarked as he kneeled down, letting his whole body be soaked in water. Well, except his head. "So, do you need some help getting out of there?" Toshi drawled.

Saitama mumbled something as he helped himself out of the hole, not expecting Toshi to pull him out of it. Now there he is, body soaking and dripping wet. He just let the umbrella fulfill its duty. To protect him from falling rain.

"Ahahaha!" the laughter behind the two boomed. Emerging from the water hole - as Saitama called the crater - behind them is a guy wearing a labcoat and holding some kind of small cube. "It is I, Precipitater!" he announced. "I call forth rain and aother forms of precipitation! You, hairless human,..." "Damn you!" "...are the first to experience the rain that I called! Thanks to this machine I created, I can manipulate everything that concerns weather!" Precipitater cackled. The machine he had been referring to is hidden behind his palms, away from Saitama's line of sight.

Saitama just sent the guy a once-over and a nod. "Should I thank you, or should I thank that machine?" he asked with a stupid smile. Toshi is at the background, comically laughing his heart out knowing Saitama is the only one who can hear him. But Saitama's question irked Precipitater to who-knows-how-much. "You don't understand," he said. "Have you ever heard of Noah's Ark?"

"Of course dude. Who didn't?" Saitama remarked solemnly. _Though I am not THAT religious, I heard the story a thousand times to the point I can make a movie without the need of a sequence script._

"Then, do you understand tbe situation you are in?" Precipitater gestured to Saitama and the surroundings.

Saitama shrugged and said "Nope. Mind filling me in?"

"If this rain continues, it can create flood by next month and will completely wipe Japan out of the globe. And after Japan, I'll drown the other countries and continents out of the map. I'll make Earth a whole kingdom of Atlantis. A paradise with no other living beings but marine life!" Precipitater announced.

 _Did he just said, wipe out the whole Japan? Wait, if that happens, then the stores with the greatest sales will also be wiped out. I can't let that happen!_

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"Oh, so you finally understand the situation," Precipitater said with a smirk. "THIS IS A DISASTER! A CALAMITY! A CATASTROPHE! THERE IS AN EVENT NEXT MONTH! HAVE YOU HEARD THAT THE PRIZE IS A HUNDRED COUPONS OF FREE DRY PRODUCTS?!" Saitama exclaimed.

Oh how Saitama can hear the joyful, comical bells of laughter in the background - courtesy of Toshi. Precipitater is entirely pissed off. "You little..."

"Uh uh. No way you Prince-Spit-paper," Saitama said with an equally-pissed face. "It is Precipitater," Precipitater filled in. "Whatever. You insulted my bald head already, I won't let you make fun of my size as well," he said.

Not a moment after, another crater is made for all the water to happily flow in.

Saitama kept walking around as the rain decided started to pour no more than a light shower. The umbrella serves no purpose anymore after being struck by lightning. His body is already wet for that matter. So he just closed it back.

"Thank you for your services," he muttered at the tattered umbrella and just clutched it on his left hand. On his right hand is the small machine Precipitater had not long ago. It looks like a regular cellphone with a strap, but the functions are quite nifty. Installed in it is a irregularly small chip and an application that helps manipulate the wind movement, temperature, humidity and other key ingredients that affects weather. Thank Precipitater. "This will save my life," Saitama muttered and tossed the thing up and down. "It comes with a waterproof function as well," he said and marched down the sidewalk happily.

"Oh Saitama, you're so strong earlier. You made a huge crater!" Toshi exclaimed.

"Nope. The cement and foundation of the road is just weak," Saitama said, a light sarcasm is intended, but Toshi did not notice. "Why did you do it anyway? Precipitater is still a good two meters away from you when you punched the ground," Toshi asked and thought about earlier. "Did you intend to intimidate him?" he added.

"Actually, I was just too pissed off when he called me hairless, which of course meant I am bald. It is not my fault to be bald in the first place. And being bald is not a problem as well..." Saitama kept on mumbling, always managing to place the word 'bald' in each sentence. And each word makes him feel worse than ever.

 _Earlier»_

 _"..." Precipitater is taken back by the amount of damage. And he also noticed how little to no effort did Saitama pat the ground. "Ah, that really helped me release my stress," Saitama inquired. "So, where was I? Ah yes! Prince-spit-paper," he started. Within milliseconds, he is already in front of Precipitater and snatched the device._

 _"You better_ _find a more decent job rather than having a shitty half-assed machine that can manipulate the fucking weather_ _. Weather forecasters forecast weather for a reason. Do you know how hard I tried finding my umbrella?"_

 _Precipitater stood on the ground like it will explode if he moved. His bones and muscle tensed as his only moving muscles in him are the ones in his eyes that followed Saitama's movements and his heart beating loudly under his rib cage. An hour after Saitama left the poor Precipitater did he only manage to move his mouth. "That guy...he is dangerous."_

* * *

 **Tbh, if Saitama were to make a movie about Noah's Ark, I could already see how he named Noah / _pronounced as 'no-ə_ / as Knowah / _still pronounced as 'nō-ə_ / .**


	7. Chapter 06

**Apologies... Please forgive me...**

 **I'm back and I'm not aboandoning this lovely fanfic! More OCs and OOCness ppl!**

 **Sorry. While writing this, I am lazing around - taking a break from all shits (schoolwork) - while reading knb fanfictions of Archive of Our Own. I always thought that that site is somewhat for forums or something. XD**

I need help though. In my school, it is a requirement to have one study/experiment proposal that was not conducted before. And...I still don't have any fucking ideas! 囧rz Tasukete minna~ TT

* * *

Saitama, Toshi, Genos and...someone who insulted Saitama!?

The trip around City Z's ghost town is pretty much uneventful the next few hours for Saitama. And by uneventful, Saitama meant random monsters popping out of the corners proudly introducing themselves - a group of smokey beings introduced themselves as inhabitants of Jupiter - and showing off their abilities only to have their internal organs magically splatter into a nasty art after a punch from Saitama unless they cower in fear. The only difference is the constant mental bickering against Toshi.

Though, honestly, he had punched out of reflex. When a monster surprised him - who wouldn't? The monster looked so fucking like Medusa! - he punched, just a centimeter difference before his fist makes contact with the monster's forehead, with his matching scream-of-the-millenium. This was enough to let the Medusa-lookalike pass out. Saitama apologizes profusely afterwards saying things about harming a Hollywood Star and all the other things.

Toshi's jingling bells of laughter rang from an alley to Saitama's conscious mind. The guy sounds like he heard a president declare war against Poseidon. Well, he'll lie if he said he didn't.

After another tireless round of strolling, ranting about inane things, a little punching here and there, Saitama rested below a random tree, not noticing that he already fell asleep. When Saitama woke up and decided to get back to his apartment, he only saw a Toshi staring curiously - Saitama claims that it is creepy - at him. "Get your face out. And, I'm going home," Saitama notified then lightly shunned Toshi away and patted away the sticking grasses and leaves on his hoodie.

Toshi looks at him hopefully. Those begging ahem bugging ahem eyes pleading to allow him to follow. The look that don't suit a slightly taller man.

"You can follow me," Saitama said and massaged his temples. Though he does admit, seeing another man act like a kicked puppy is a refreshing sight for Saitama. He never did see any other human being - Saitama included Toshi in the 'human being' category - act as childish as Toshi. So seeing a fellow act just as carefree as Saitama, the hero just can't help but feel happy. Though the idea that Toshi is just a lost soul does bother Saitama to an extent.

Nevertheless, Saitama snapped back to reality as Toshi whooped and did a somersault in midair and remained 4 feet above the ground. "Gravity sure sucks," Saitama concluded as he sighed, looking at his feet. _I should've trained levitation or telekinesis in the last 3 years._ Saitama begrudgingly concluded.

He looked up to see a clear blue sky with a few clouds and the sun peeking through, sharing its warmth and light. A mocking sight as Saitama reflected off brightness from his own head.

When Genos saw the weather finally calm down to a light drizzle, he returned to the camp with a fresh new set of notebooks. Upon his arrival in the tent, he sensed two presences approaching Saitama's apartment with incredible speed. "What...?" he exclaimed and enhanced his senses. His ears heard two pairs of feet very lightly tapping the pavement. The tapping sound stopped after Saitama's door sounded open and shut in split second. "What...?" is his oh-so-smart murmur.

"Hm...I wonder if they are here?" Saitama lazily asked as he saw very light droplets of water on his doorstep. "They could be. They love surpises," he concluded and readied himself. He relaxed his fist just to make sure that he doesn't swing them when he opens his door. When he turned the knob, the door creaked slowly. No one greeted him.

No tackling.

No nagging.

No annoying shrieks of a woman.

No reprimands from an old man.

Nothing.

Saitama breathed out, "Ah, they are not here-" "TAMA-CHAN!" "SAI-KUN!"

His fingers curled into a fist almost instantly, but he stopped himself midway from attacking when he realized that this is his apartment. And if attacking meant using force, then that means his apartment will be messier than what it already is. Plus the laptop he had will also suffer a damage or two.

"Mom! Dad!"

"How's hero business? Are you eating well? How many villains' asses did you kick? Did you gain any title? Are you famous?" were their first words. It sounds like they rehearsed - which they won't deny because they rehearsed it for five hours to perfection - then they tackled the shorter male. "Being a hero is cool. I'm eating well. Er...what are the other three questions again?"

"How many villain's asses did you kick? Did you gain any title? Are you famous?" they repeated in sync again. "I didn't count. I don't have a title. I'm not sure," he answered with a shrug. "Though I guess I could say the same to you two. I still haven't heard you in news and stuff," he added teasingly.

His mom - Chira - and dad - Yuuya - raised a brow and snickered. Yuuya then raised his hand to imitate a ruffling gesture on Saitama's bald head but soon patted it. "Oh. Sorry. I forgot you are already bald at such an early age," Yuuya teased and then carressed his own messy locks.

After an awkward silence, tick marks accumulated on Saitama's face.

"So I'm bald! What's your problem huh!?"

* * *

 **This fanfic...I think I made it as my personal OPM CRACK dumpsite. Tell/comment/PM me your ideas. I have facebook! Search Heitth Anderson and we could chat anytime (as long as it is a weekend or a holiday or a break).**


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